My regular readers will have noticed my lack of posts of late. There’s a couple of reasons for this.
I’ve been asked to take another class at my work (I am a parenting educator, and am now facilitating a woman’s group) so that’s been keeping me busy. I absolutely love my job – it really is my dream job. I get to work with people, see them have light-bulb moments, and hopefully leave them feeling more empowered than when I met them. I work two mornings a week, and that’s been a great balance at this time of my life.
And then there’s my back.
My back has never been that crash hot as I have scoliosis (a slight curvature of the spine), but I really damaged it during labour with Chip. I thought I was recovering from last month’s vacuuming-o-doom incident, when I re-hurt it and spent several nights not getting much sleep from the pain.
I eventually admitted defeat and took myself to the doctor to get some painkillers, because sleep and I are BFF’s and if I don’t get enough I’m like this:
My doctor’s visit left me in tears and really angry (I cry when angry, it’s sooooo annoying). I’d never seen met this one before, and she was very nice – but she said really unhelpful things like ‘Don’t lift anything and go easy on the housework.’ I snorted and muttered something about the fact that I have two toddlers and lifting them, like a million times a day, was part of my job description. She nodded sagely and said ‘Yes, it’s hard.’
No enquiries as to what help might be available to me, or any practical suggestions as to how one manages to not lift a 20-month old in and out of his car seat/pick him up when he falls over for the 12th time that day/respond to his request for cuddles/put him in his cot/take him out of his cot; let alone any suggestions about how to keep my house clean while not actually cleaning it myself. I already try to do all these things carefully – getting down to their level, bending my knees etc, along with back-strengthening exercises but it clearly isn’t enough.
She also said I needed to ‘get serious about losing weight’ without actually making any enquiries as to my diet and exercise habits, weight-loss history, or anything. I was too upset to do anything other than nod, but I wanted to scream ‘as if I haven’t been trying to lose weight for EVERY FUCKING DAY OF MY LIFE SINCE I WAS 16, YOU BITCH’. You know, because if you are fat, all you do is sit on the couch and eat pies. I guess she’s never read my blog. 🙂
For the record, being fat is not the cause of my back pain. I know being overweight doesn’t help, but the cause was having a damn baby.
Anyway, enough ranting.
D and I have taken the sensible-but-expensive option to help heal my back – get a nanny. Albeit, a temporary one.
We are fortunate enough to know a nanny who is between jobs, so she will be caring for Chip for the next few weeks while I focus on getting my back in tip-top shape. We are also fortunate that we can afford to do it! I’d rather not have to, but I really can’t see any other way of being able to give my back the rest and recovery it needs. Not the best for our bank balance, but forking out for doctor’s visits, physio and painkillers isn’t cheap either. I’d rather fix the problem than box on.
It’s never worked having someone watch my kids while I am present, as they naturally run to me when they need something. So I will be making myself scarce while she’s here. After finalising things with the nanny, I suddenly thought ‘what on earth am I going to do with myself?!’ I will have a month with lots and lots of free time.
I couldn’t think of how to possibly fill it.
But of course once the shock of actually getting some to myself set in, I realised there are a zillion and one things I could do. Like swim and do yoga to help my back. Write. Go for walks. Visit a friend. Make a craft. Obviously parkour is out of the question ( 🙂 ) but I have no doubt I will find the time whizzes by.